And On To Something New: Last Day at Parents Magazine

I’ve been delaying the post. Procrastination at its finest.

I’m not quite sure how to wrap up the last 9 months without sounding cliché, but I’ll try to keep this as light as possible. However, you should be aware, under all these words I’m both sad and content in my final decision.

For those of you who don’t know, I will be leaving Parents magazine at 5:30pm today, and not returning tomorrow. Another job has presented itself, and while I’m very excited to begin my next adventure, I can’t help but feel as though I’m leaving behind something a little bit great.

Let’s start at the very beginning.

The first day of my internship I was in a fluster, slightly late and slightly lost (as you might remember). My confidence in the 7 train had been overestimated, as well as my ability in recalling where exactly Parents magazine’s offices were located.

I ran over to one of the Editorial Assistant’s desks once I’d finally found the correct department. “I am so sorry I’m late.” While I was less than ten minutes behind, you just don’t do that on your first day.

CJB looked up at me, matter-of-factly. “Your fine.” There was beat… a momentary pause where I couldn’t decide if she cared or not. No smile yet. I just sat standing there awkwardly.

“Let me show you where your desk is.”

And then BAM. She gave me a dazzling smile. I was reassured by this very gesture that no - she didn’t hate me, and that yes - I could do this internship.

Lucky enough, it was one of those miraculous internships that led to an even more desirable position: a job. I had put in my two weeks notice at Bloomingdale's before July was over, and the 60+ hour workweeks slowly slipped away until I was only involved in magazines.

I became a fulltime EA.

Me. Editorial Assistant for your Tablet department? No… stop it… but really, yes? Are you Sure? Maybe I shouldn’t ask if you’re sure… Yes.  Yes, I want this job! Wait, what exactly is this job? Oh it doesn’t even matter at this point… just thank you for the job – ANY job!

But here's the thing... It wasn’t just any editorial job.

I feel as though my experience was a rarity in magazines – not to mention in New York City.

It should be noted: Not all companies will treat you with a respect that is not only expected, but in fact, the standard. Even as an intern, I was not just an intern. My work was relevant, and while not always enjoyable, it was important. A sense of value and appreciation is difficult to come across in any position, so to nurture even the volunteer workers is truly going above the norm.

It should also be noted: Many stumble into a job hoping to discover mentors who can guide them through the basic practices of business. My magazine was an open environment, and I was astonished to find editors bending over backwards to explain guidelines and conduct. When I asked, people answered – and not because they were under any obligation.
 

Finally, it should be noted: These people were enjoyable. These people were genuine. These people were mothers, fathers, wives, and husbands. These people were friends. These people watched out for one another. These people affected me in both big and little ways.

Your first real job in the business you desire to be a part of is an unforgettable experience, and I sincerely thank the staff of Parents for making my time at the magazine more than gratifying. Between toy closets, iPad testing, lineups, and tablet meetings, I saw the world of print and digital colliding from a position I couldn’t have fathomed a year ago when I moved to the city with a few bags of clothes and a mattress.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. You’ve given me the tools – now I must finish the job. Here’s to leaping into the next thing… eyes closed.

And we jump.

***
A look back through the last year:

My first assignment: Call in hundreds of books from publishing houses. Well, you know how well that went... but I got by with a little help from my friends.

Toy testing. I liked this toy quite a lot. 

My Lorax that guarded the cubicles. If ever we were in a pinch or stressed out, we would hug the Lorax for comfort. A few weeks ago, after the Christmas holiday, there was a lot of hugging. 

Desk decorations.

Something I will miss: free food from press events. 

I met Mo Willems at the launch party of his new book app. 

And I played with cardboard boxes. 

Ah! I will truly miss this! Goodbye Bagel Wednesdays. You were good to me. 

I had the privilege of interviewing Jeremiah Brent and meeting Rachel Zoe at a press event.

Office view.

My cubicle when we had just moved into our new office. 

CJB's drawing about when I got the EA job at Parents. PS - I was not a little devil and she knew it. 

The ONE thing I would buy for lunch in summertime with the other interns. The rest of the time... you know it! PB&J. 

On the way to my interview.

So many tablet computers... this was in the middle of sending out magazines into the digital world. My desk housed a crazy amount of chargers, cords, and cases. 

Corporate coffee. 

The last few things to do before walking out of the office for good...  

... and beginning all over again tomorrow. 
But don't you love the word tomorrow? 
Ah, such a good word.

5 Things Not to Do on the Subway

1) Do not pee in the subway car. In fact, it is best if you do not urinate anywhere in public. But subway cars are particularly smothering, so this is particularly cruel.

2) Do not get into domestic disputes in the subway car. This is awkward. And I’m not talking about a little tiff. I’m simply asking you refrain from shouting, scratching, or yanking hair. It makes for a stressful journey home.

3) Do not pop your gum incessantly in the subway car.  Or ever.

4) Do not think we want to hear your music in the subway car. Headphones were invented for a reason. Please invest in some. Once you have bought said headphones, do try to remember that when you sing loudly we can still hear you (even though, oddly enough, you can’t hear yourself). And we don’t really like it.

5) Do not think too much about the subway car. “I’m squished.” “That person is touching me.” “Who was sitting here last?” “Why is the train not moving?” No, no, no. Do not ponder such grievances when commuting. Your wondering thoughts will inevitably become catalysts for a mental breakdown, or possibly lead to a cause of arrest.

Click here for a visual example of what happens when


Elaine from Seinfeld experiences emotions any New Yorker on a crowed train understands. 

In the Night: A New Year's Post

There’s something special about arriving in a city after dark, particularly if you claim it as your own.

We (as in any transplant to New York) sneak away for the holidays, needing to refuel, rest, or reassess. Home always brings perspective, and it is often this viewpoint, which you know and trust, that leads toward a direction so easily lost in the city. We can hear ourselves think when the beeping horns cease, and hours slept each night are counted on two hands verse one.

But when we (as in any “New Yorker”) are away from the incandescent orb that is Manhattan and its vibrant boroughs for long enough, there is a sense of absence or deficiency nipping in the back of our minds. Luring us, stirring us…until unexpectedly, we are hit with the original pang of passion that lurched us into this beautifully wrecked, yet boundless city.

As my plane looped over Brooklyn, I was comforted by the thought of knowing every house has a human, and every human has a heart. Every heart has a desire – so try to fathom the amount of longings and aspirations beating indefinitely throughout our city. 

Intimidating… yet inspiring.

And what of desire? This leads to change. Action. Movement. Controversy. Failure. Triumph. Desire lends to the necessities that fulfill a different need, separate from money or sustenance. Yet maybe living here, you find your craving holds equal importance and value.

What is so special about arriving in a city after dark is that the town is relaxed and slumbering. But when they wake, you’ll already be present, quietly amongst them. Maybe you left unnoticed; maybe your return was unseen. But you are here now, and you choose it. Yes, we decidedly displaced Virginians, Floridians, Californians, and whomever else - we sneak into the city at night, reposed and ready.

But for what?
You’ll have to decide. 

We are back. We will do what we came to do. And oh, will we do it well. 


Are you ready for 2012?
I say bring it. 

The Time I Pulled a Knife on Someone

“Yeah… we had fun,” I said

“Good. Did you fix your boots yet?” Mom asked. I had called her on my walk home from the subway.

“No, mother. I’m poor.”

“You’re not that poor!”

“First – yes I am. I hate getting paid every two weeks! And second – ” I swiveled around and glanced up and down the block. I had reached one of my safety “check points.” Two people behind me, one to the right. No one on my heels.

Check point one: PASS.

“ – and secondly, I don’t even know where to go to fix those boots. Everyone in Astoria’s “gotta a guy.” I gotta bagel guy, but that’s about it.”

“Oooh maa gosh… Britney! Fix those boots.”

“I will mother.” I said, glancing around one last time before heading down my street. 

A few feet behind me, an Unknown had snuck up. He walked quietly and held a briefcase. But he was too close… and why hadn’t I seen him before?

Check point two: FAIL.

I wish I could tell you there was a method to my madness, and that I knew the Unknown was going to be problem because of facts A, B, and C, but the truth is I always go with my gut. And the gut said stop walking.

So before turning down my street, I veered to the left and leaned against the wall of a large apartment building.

“Can you believe how much we spent on those boots?” I asked my mother, who was happily prattling on the phone. I wanted to look busy even if I was acutely aware of the Unknown. Trying to run home would only lead something sketchy to my doorstep. And if any funny business happened, big apartment buildings almost always have cameras. This was an ideal spot.

Did I mention my gut had specifically said stop walking? I was listening.

“Oh I know!” Mom said. “And to think…” but I didn’t hear the rest of what she was saying. The 40-something year old man with a briefcase was passing by me… and then he stopped.

A chill went from the tips of my fingers to my feet.

He was looking at me, but just barely. It’s difficult to explain, but the Unknown appeared to be staring right through me, like I was an apparition he’d accidently spotted but could no longer see. There was no expression on his face, which was about three feet from my own.

So I did what any gal would do after 30 seconds of awkwardness.

“Shoo! SHHHHOO!!”  I said, flicking my free hand at him like he was an unwanted fly in summertime. He blinked repeatedly, and stepped away from me, suddenly coherent after his trance-like state.

“Britney who are you talking to…”

The man began to walk away.

“Shush Mother. I’m kinda… having… a moment,” I said through gritted teeth. I needed a weapon. Where were my keys? Purses are always ridiculously messy at the wrong moment. With one hand on the phone and another in my bag, I watched as the man turned to face me again, this time about 10 feet away.

“Well! Well wait, what’s happening.”

“Tell ya in a sec. Just keep talking.”

"Okay hum… so I think that…” she continued, as I stopped digging in my purse. The Unknown was oddly standing in the middle of road, facing me again.

“What do YOU WANT!?” I screamed at him. He backed away, not taking his eyes off me now. It was only 10pm and there was a family walking down an adjacent street. This was such odd behavior; I couldn’t categorize it. And I was hungry…. Really hungry. This freak was the only thing between me, and my baked potato.

“Brit what’s happening?”

“Mom… shh. Someone followed me. Now I’m annoyed 'cause I’m starving. But I can’t go home 'cause he’ll see where I live. Stay on phone.”

“Oh maa gosh... uh, yeah. I'm not going anywhere,” the sassy Southern accent came ringing through the telephone.

Unknown was now across the street. I stood directly on the other side, staring at him and debating my options.

He set his briefcase down.

I pulled my bag closer.

He began to dig in his coat pocket.

I began digging in my purse. And then a thought struck me – I had a knife! HA!

“What are you doing now?” Mom asked, almost whispering.

“Looking for my knife.”

“What!? You have a knife??

“Ha. Yeah. Ironically enough, I found it last night.” It had been resting, blade open, in the hall closet of my apartment. And now I had the heavy object in my hand. The weapon was probably a relic from my old roommate, but she wouldn’t mind me carrying it around for a bit.

Well…” my mother said, “I don’t know if I’m more nervous for you–or for that man!” she continued with a little laugh. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her confident one-liner.

Guys, it wasn’t graceful, but it worked. With one hand holding a phone I could barely open the old blade. Suddenly it popped into place. Striking a pose similar to Peter pan, I raised the knife in the air. The street light overhead made the metal gleam.

What they don’t tell you in the movies is what to do next. I didn’t really want to use the knife. So I waved the blade back and forth through the air, in a “just-try-to mess-with-me-because-I-might-West-Side-Story-dance-my-way-out-of-this-situation” kind of way.

This method worked surprisingly well. The Unknown DID NOT like my knife. He pivoted around so quickly; I couldn’t help but think maybe he wanted to dance/rumble too. But still he searched for something in his coat pocket. This is the moment when my gut began speaking to me again: it said run.

I clumsily closed the knife, slicing my finger in the process (nube mistake), and tossed it in my pocket. The gut and I both knew if Unknown were reaching for a gun, my knife would be no match.  While he was still turned away from me, I ran down the street, protected from his view by two large moving trucks. Now even if he were looking for me, it would be very difficult to see my exact whereabouts. I peered between the vehicles, and saw the man quickly grab his briefcase and take off down the road. I couldn’t see much but I knew he wasn’t coming my way.

West Side Story Peter Pan had scared him! Or at least confused him enough to make an escape.

“Mom?”

“Yes?!?” She said.

“Hey, I’m home.”

(Editor’s Note: These methods are not conducive to all situations. Readers should not believe they can scare off all Unknowns, but should instead follow their gut. Sometimes even Peter Pan needed help from the Lost Boys. RIP Rufio.

Menacing litte Peter Pan blade, isn't it?

Mail Bag


Yesterday I got a letter! A big thanks to Anne in Virginia for the encouraging words and actually sending me a hand-written note about my article. That’s a big deal… and it made my night.



If I haven’t already bothered you about it - my first national print byline came out in the November issue of Parents Magazine. Whoop whoop! I helped write the Best Toy Guide of 2011, and yes, we did get to play with the merchandise throughout the summer. (PS - Some of those games for 8 years+ are actually quite difficult… especially before coffee. Should I be worried my own children will be smarter than me at 8!? Eh... I was never very good with numbers.) 

Another big thank you to Anne!

Interview with Jeremiah Brent

I was almost running late.

The press event began at 11am, and it was currently 10:15. Technically I was leaving right on time - plenty of time to grab a coffee and catch a ride downtown. But then… there’s the subway.

How unfortunate that all trains going into the city were running express, and “because of construction” were only leaving from one stop. Not my stop.

Sigh. As is life.

Somehow I managed to get to the event by 11:10 (albeit, a little out of breath), giving me plenty of time to wonder the Sherwin-Williams and Fisher-Price displays. Free, delicious looking munchies lined several tables, and a large canister of coffee sat proudly in the middle, as through all the food bowed down to him.

Well, I certainly did.

Grabbing a hot cup, I turned around to face more display tables. It was always slightly awkward at these press events, not knowing anyone, with most attendants being long-term editors from other magazines. Still, I can always play a part. And I was wearing my Jimmy Choos. Don’t judge – it helps. And high heels are expected at these things, particularly when you are about to hear from celebrity stylist, Rachel Zoe.

She was promoting a new online tool called Room to Bloom. Several PR agents had walked me around, highlighting features about the product and asking how it would best work for my audience.

Rachel Zoe then appeared, with new assistant Jeremiah Brent in tow. They gave information, answered a few questions, and talked about Rachel’s new baby. I’m not one to be star-struck, but it did feel surreal staring into the face of a woman I watched on TV.

How crazy?
I suppose I was part of “the press.”



Expecting to watch a short presentation on Room to Bloom, and then head back to work, I was surprised when a friendly PR agent I’d been talking with earlier approached me. “Would you like to try and get an interview with Jeremiah?” she said quietly as the presentation began.

I nearly choked. I didn’t have any questions! I really wasn’t prepared! I just ate a sandwich! Was there anything in my teeth!?

“Oh, yes. Definitely,” the calm, collected outer Britney replied.

Inner Britney was a little more frantic. I walked down a hallway and passed a man offering champagne. “Oh no thanks,” said a woman in front of me. “I’m trying to stay slim!” Another lady eyed the sparkling glasses, ’Thank you but no. I’ve got a long day ahead of me.”

Champagne man looked me as I unceremoniously grabbed a cup. “I’m going to need this…” I mumbled with a small smile. “Get it girl!” he replied in out right laughter.

Next I scribbled down a few quick notes, trying to gather enough questions for about a five-minute interview. My phone was fine on battery, and I said a quick “thank you!” prayer as I remembered my newish iPhone has a microphone. The whole interview could be recorded and I could focus on not looking a fool.

“Alright so…” I said to the one and only, Jeremiah.
“What’s up,” he smiled.
“How are you doing today? Are you stressed with Fashion Week?”
“I’m good! It’s been a lot... ”

But just so you know, it went well.
And I didn’t have anything in my teeth.

In Case You Missed It

In case you missed it... I have two new article on Parents Magazine's "Goody Blog." One is about eating dirt (yes, fo real), while the other focuses on the gender-neutral preschool debate.

In case you missed it... Martha Stewart Living's Family Blog is currently posting their
"60 Days of Summer" throughout the next two months. You may or may not know who wrote them all...

In case you missed it... The woman at Dunkin' Donuts officially knows my summer beverage of choice (small iced coffee, with milk and sugar). She makes me very happy and I hope she's aware of that fact.


In case you missed it... I would like a dog. But I'm poor and would be deemed a bad mother under current circumstances (i.e. - When am I home for more than just dinner or sleep??)

In case you missed it... New York is sweltering again. AC units are back, blasting the sticky air with what little defenses they maintain, and utility bills soar upon arrival of an annual heatwave that wraps the city in a suffocating blanket. But we won't complain - not too much. Because we were here in winter too... and let's not even go there.

Incase you missed it... I fell in love the New York in the summer time, and I am still just as enamored as ever.