Thursday's Things New Yorkers Say

Sorry guys; it was kind of a headphones week with exams and such, but I did catch a few things. Here is what I saw and heard on the streets of NYC this week…

Woman near Bryant Park on 42nd street, standing in the middle of the road.

“NO!!! NO! NO!,” she screams at a bus and then puts her hands on the glass doors. “NO, YOU’VE GOTTA LET ME IN. PLEASE LET ME IN!!!” She is probably 5’10’’ and wears a business outfit. The bus isn’t letting her in, and moves up slightly. “NO, NO, NO!” She is the definition of “frantic.” “PLEASE LET ME IN!! PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO. YOU HAVE TO.” The light changes and the bus to the ferry begins to accelerate. The woman throws both hands in the air and screams like she was actually run over by the bus, “NOOOOO!!!!!”

All this, just trying to get to school. Honestly though, I’ve never heard someone scream like that in public that wasn’t on a rollercoaster. The best part was that every pedestrian was starring at her as she ran out of the street. Then she noticed us (like she thought she was being discreet!?). We had all been rooted to the ground, and then suddenly in quite a hurry.

Subway announcer upon arriving in Queens on the 7 Train.

“Weeeelcome to Queens, Long Island City!” he says with a staccato that reminds me of a basketball announcer as we leave the tunnel connecting Manhattan and my home. “Pa-leas remember that the holiday season also meeeeeans…. Pick-pocketing season!” He now sounds like an auctioneer. “That’s right folks, keep your belonging near you at-all-times and pa-lease keep your hands in your pockets! This is the time for pick-pocketers. I repeat, keep your hands in your pockets. Once again, have a happy holiday season and know where your belongings are at-all-times! This is Queens, NY… Queensborogh Plaza, next stop.“ The man talks for about 70 seconds longer than any MTA announcer I’ve ever heard in my life.

Random homeless man: “Shut up!!”

Um, should I be offended that announcer first welcomes the train to Queens, and then immediately goes into a pick-pocking sermon? Humph.

The best sisters ever sent stocking with candy to me and my roommate. The best dad ever sent me the Carpenter's Christmas album so I could get in the spirit (because it is the ONLY true Fitzgerald Christmas CD). And the best mom ever is visiting on Tuesday ;)