Oh No, Oh Snow

I was snuggled warmly in bed.

We’d all stayed up late into the AM the night before. Ivy and I had gone to Brooklyn for a Halloween soirée and then crashed at her place in Harlem. Our plan that morning was to sleep in like the lazy bums we never get to be, walk around the park, and then start…. eh, finish the dreaded thesis.

It was your typical 20-something-grad-student-in-New-York Saturday.

Alas, as I rolled out of bed, something falling from the sky caught my eye. No, it couldn’t be… not yet. Surely not yet.

But it was! It was SNOW. Big fat flakes fell gracefully into the ally, mocking me with their dace-like tumble onto the street.

Didn’t these hateful ice bombs realize they were early!? My mind kept screaming the words “October” over and over again.

“Ivy… Ivy wake up.”
“What, what., what…”
“Snow. Snow… It’s snowing. It’s snowing.”
“Snow?!” she said sitting straight up and then quickly walking towards the window. We stood there for about two seconds, looked at each other, and then screamed like we were cued for a movie:


Don’t get me wrong. I used to love snow and I still enjoy it on occasion. The city is never quieter or cleaner in the midst of a blizzard, and who doesn’t like a little white Christmas?

But. It’s October. Walking 15 minutes from the subway in icy slush with holey shoes, tights, and a dress is… well, I’m whining and I know it, but it was freaking miserable! Ivy let me barrow some winter necessities (thank you!), and yet I still resembled a chattering, blue fool by the time I reached my apartment.

Last winter in New York was unbearable. In fact, we don’t talk about it because it was slightly scarring. Every other day in January we had ice storms that would knock you down on the street, and wind that would cut through your coat - especially near the river. Subways got stuck for hours and my constant walk, walk, walking turned into a routine worth repressing.

Winter wonderland, you are reluctantly welcome back in December. Please stay away until then. You must let we New Yorkers get mentally prepared... or given time to evacuate.