Thursday's Things New Yorkers Say: Holiday

I regret that it has been a few weeks since TTNYS with Thanksgiving and projects and such, but here we go again. These are a few things you might hear a New Yorker say…

Walking in the Union Square Christmas Market

“So I text him and I’m all like, ‘Hey baby’ you know, trying to be like all sexy, and then he says, ‘Hey baby. I’m so excited to see you… I’m blushing.’ Whaaat?!” She screams to her friend who is laughing so hard there are tears rolling down her face. “Whaaaat!” the woman screams again. “You’re blushing? What the heck? Were we not just talking about men never having emotions? Ha...well... maybe sometimes that’s fine.” They are both laughing so hard now, the story comes to a standstill.

I’m sure there is some sort of feminist communication studies project buried in there somewhere…

In the dress department of a store the weekend of Black Friday

Mother to daughter in extremely terse words: “Sorry I don’t care about if someone has seen a dress I’m wearing before, ON FACEBOOK.” Crazy daughter to angry mother: “Mom!” she screams, and then says in a normal tone, “I’m walking out.” Grabbing her bag she leaves the dress, and her mom follows chanting a verse that was stuck in my head all day. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare. Don’t you DARE. Don’t you dare.” Over an over again.

Yes. She would dare. But a word of advice woman… LET HER GO. She’s only going to get to about 5th Avenue before she realizes she needs your credit card again.

After the Macy’s Day parade, near Central Park West

A mother with her kid to another woman: “We had to miss Santa Claus because so and so had to pee!”

Okay, hold up. Were you at the parade to see Santa, or did you come so that you kid could see Santa? Either way (and yes, there is a right answer to that last question), it is NOT OKAY to call your kid “so and so!” He's just sitting there, looking at you, thinking "Wow she loves Santa so much she forget my name." Kids probably shouldn't think that. I bet he's going to have a Santa complex and really relate to the song "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

Oh people. You just make me laugh.