Thursday’s Things New Yorkers Say

I‘ve been all over New York throughout the last several days, and “The List” of what I want to experience while living in the city has taken a happy beating. But the topic of today’s blog post must, of course, be about what was heard amid the streets and boroughs of the concrete jungle.

New Year’s Eve in Park Slope

Marty Markowitz (pronounced something like Ma-ty Ma-kowitz with a Brooklyn accent) walks on stage and thanks the band for performing that evening. As the Brooklyn Borough President, he has quite a bit of status with the audience.

Then, like something out of a movie, he says to a band member, “Ethan,” and kisses his fingers similar to an Italian mobster, “My fellow Jew, I love yeah.” Suddenly he gives a hearty laugh, clears his throat and continues his speech, with included popular catch phrases like: “Prospect Park is the most beautiful park in America. Who says so? I say so!” and “Forget Manhattan. Who needs Manhattan when you’ve got Brooklyn? Forgetaboutit."

Alice and I couldn’t stop laughing. Nor could we stop saying “forgetaboutit” in every possible situation all night long.

Waiting for the N train in Brooklyn on New Year’s Eve

Have you ever been waiting in the subway, and a train arrives on the platform opposite you, headed a direction you don’t want to go? After this happens twice, you begin to pace a little bit. Three times and you’re straight up angry. Four times and you think that the MTA possibly forgot your stop. Five times? If the train arrives 5 TIMES on the platform opposite yours, and not one train has even thought about stopping at your station, you might think the world is going to end.

So Alice and I waited. And waited. And waited some more. It had probably been 35 minutes of waiting on a platform with a growing number of aggravated New Year’s Eve goers, when a train FINALLY made an appearance.

Everyone shuffled about to get near the approaching transportation, when terror rapidly consumed our station. The horrific letters flashing across the top of the train read “NOT IN SERVICE.” Our collective hopes were crushed.

Then a yell abruptly broke through the depressing air. Police officers had been scattered through the subway all night, and finally someone needed their assistance!

A twenty-something girl screamed, “Officer! (pause for effect) Arrest that train!”

The majority of the subway station at least chuckled.

There's good ol' Marty. Photo courtesy of New York Magazine