My Creepy Neighbor

So my neighbor is a clown. 

I have only seen him in makeup once. His face was painted, and he wore a wife-beater while his tiny black poodle growled at people strolling by. 

Yeah. That was enough for me. 

Unfortunately my creepy clown neighbor likes Halloween. It seems to be the holiday he most relates to, thus the rest of the block must put up with frightening exhibits of oddness... like this new addition to our hood:

Meet Evil Clown Pirate. His ship is a fire hydrant, and his prey are any who exhibit fear. Walk tall Astorians! Do not be fooled. He is only a stuffed mannequin.

But do beware...

When you pass Evil Clown Pirate, resist from exhibiting any form of emotion. With a quick glance to the left, you will see the real evil clown, peeking out from behind his curtains, looking for exactly such a response.

Ah, New York. 

I love you and all of your peculiarity.