Thursday's Things New Yorkers Say

I know, I know... it's been far too long since I've written a "Thursday's Things." Honestly, these are the hardest posts to write because timing, length, and description are everything. Plus I'm finding it more and more difficult dissecting what is considered an "odd" conversation. 

Yikes. Am I a jaded New Yorker??

No. I'm not, because these two moments from last week I still find humorous. Without further ado, here's "Thursday's Things New Yorker's Say," overheard by yours truly.  

Double Date
“Where is Josh?” a prim looking waitress asks her coworker on 30th Ave. He is less prim, and maybe a little smug.
“He’s with Rach.”
“Oh,” she says.
“Know who Rach is?”
“His girlfriend I would assume?
The guy smirks. “Baby-Momma.”
“Oh. I understand…” she said nodding sympathetically.
“Ya… but I bet he’ll try and go to his girlfriend’s afterwards – You know, try and hit them both up in one night.”
Prim waitress just kind of blinks.

Keep Your Magic to Yourself
“Wanna see a magic trick?” a toothless man asks me in Union Square.
“No,” I reply matter-a-factly while flipping through a magazine.
“Come on, one magic trick??” he insists.
“I don’t have any money.”
“I wasn’t asking!” he seems offended.
“One card trick?”
“Fine. One card trick. Go ahead.”
“But…you don’t have any money…?”
“Really? Really. Show me your magic trick for free or go find someone else who makes more than $18,000 a year,” I reply with that ironic smile my sisters hate.
“Ehh…hell! What do you do for a living?” he says backing away and mumbling about how his salary from the street is higher. Toothless Man then begins to laugh at me… a lot. 
These are always humbling moments.