Things I Never Thought

Well kids, we’re coming up on two years time living in New York City. A lot has changed, and a lot hasn’t. (I think that’s the way it should be, no?) Anyway, despite most characteristics remaining intact from the pre-city days, there are a few new little quirks in my personality. Listed below are the things I thought I’d never own, wear, see, or do:

I never thought I’d… not notice when a man dressed up as a large male reproductive organ walked down the street next to me. I can’t say I even blinked at the costume.

I never thought I’d… eat PB&J for nearly 9 months straight.
Or bump into Stanley Tucci and see Steve Martin in the subway.

I never thought I’d… carry 1 to 2 pocket knives in my purse on any given day. And I never thought I’d pull said pocket knifes out of my purse.

I never thought I’d… wear a huge, puffy knee-length down jacket. In fact, it was my uniform in the Winter of 2010-2011. May that coat rest in peace for a few months.

 I never thought I’d… do my laundry at a laundromat with quarters and the whole schlep. I dreamed of big city living for a long time – yet somehow laundry was never apart of those dreams. 

 I never thought I’d… drop Yiddish phrases in my blog posts (see above statement). Or eat a better bagel than one from Einstein’s.
Oh how wrong I was.

I never thought I’d… dance on tables in the Lower East Side.
Or walk and walk and walk until every shoe (and I mean EVERY shoe) has a hole in them.

I never thought I’d… catch a 3am train to Queens or a 4am train to Manhattan.

I never thought I’d… pretty much pass out on 5th Ave from sleep deprivation. Or email my resume and cover letter to so many companies (I believe my whole generation can nod to this one). 

 I never thought I’d… have a natural affinity for graffiti-covered bathrooms, PBR, hummus, and hollandaise sauce.

I never thought I’d… have a pigeon poop on my head.

I never thought I’d… have dinner with drag queens or get tips from a homeless man about living on the street.

I never thought I’d… meet such interesting, fabulous people who I encounter everyday and depend on incessantly

I never thought I’d… wear so many colored tights, layers, headbands, hats, leather, or satchel bags. But it’s just so easy!

I never thought I’d… be in a photo shoot or a fashion show. And I didn’t think I’d see a movie before it was released or participate in a 100+ person pillow fight.

I never thought I’d… feel so low or so high, or feel so much from a constantly morphing life among the extremes, where your values are tested and your ideals are tempted to both wither and mature within the exact same second.

I never thought I’d… be so scared of cockroaches.
Or be so fond of green grass on trips home.

And I never thought you’d… read this blog.

So thank you. 

Oh also, I never thought I'd... almost punch my sister in the face when she came up behind me in a bookstore. Personality quirk. What can I say? Don't reach for my purse G-race.